Need is a strong word

Blog Post: 8/25/2025

I love you

Bet I scared ya

My mind flew

To nowhere just

Thinking of you

That's how I knew

In light of recent emotional troubles, I have turned a new leaf. I don’t have a lot to say. I do though, that's always a lie. I haven't a clue what I'm doing here, but I wrote my first love song. My first love song about the only man I have ever truly loved. The first verse (as typed above) is my favorite stanza of the song. It's the moment I realized that I was in love. An unselfish, uncruel, pitiful, embarrassing, unconditional love. I haven't been the best over the time we've been together. I have to be so honest right now and say that I have been intense. I have always been right and he has always been wrong and that isn't how human connection works. There is not enough love in the world that can pass through an impermeable brain and skull. I can be right as much as I want but in that case, winning will always be the goal my brain is unknowingly targeting. Even when I say it's okay for me to be wrong. I have so much love in my heart for you and I hope you get to read this some time. Every time I inhale it feels like anxiety and the desire to smother. My “I need to know” has to turn into “I will wait for you to tell me”. My “we have to talk” has to become “lets watch a movie”. I will do that for you. I will do that for the man that loves me. I will love you like I know you and get to know you better to keep loving you. You will be the one I will never be able to forget. Your kindness and love has always been there and I feel it. I feel the confusion you feel seeping through your skin and eyes because I have felt that for you too. I turned a new leaf and although I do not believe like you do, I will pray for your happiness. I will pray for your love. I will pray for your success. I will pray you release the stress and pain in your heart in order to love again. 

Right now because I am trying not to talk about it I just have to trust that you love me too. Love me enough to try again.